First was when I was still living in Boise, ID. I was at my last girls camp days before we moved out to Minnesota. I was having a really hard time with my self esteem, mainly because I felt like I didn't have a friend in the entire world. I felt like I had been mistreated by those who should care about me most, out side of my family that is. My mom had come to pick me up early, I don't remember if it was because we were leaving the next morning to go on a trip or to move or if it was because I was having such a rotten time that I had called her to come get me. Maybe it was a little of both. Anyway I remember sitting in my moms car just balling my eyes out because I was so upset and so hurt with everything that had been happening. I don't even remember what it was that had happened that made me so up set. The only thing that I really remember is my mom pulling down the visor so that I could look myself in the mirror. I can still hear her saying "Charmaine look into the mirror. Can you tell me what you see?" I said "me", then she replied and said "Can you tell me who you are?" Then more tears filled my eyes as I replied "no".
I want you to ask yourself that same question. If the answer is no that's fine it takes time to learn who we really are and this is just one way that I like to think got myself headed in the direction of knowing who I am.
I got a Text once form a dear friend of mine that read; " Do you have a mirror? Well look into it. Look at that beautiful strong young woman that you are becoming, and look at that princess and queen that you have always been, and will always be. I want you to remember what you see and who you are right now, so that when some guy comes along brakes your heart and treats you as if you were lower then dirt you wont let it continue. You are a daughter of a king and as such you deserve to be treated as one."
I got this text about a week after I started college and believe me it couldn't have come at a better time. I know that it talks to the girls but guys it applies to you too. Don't let someone treat you like crap you are of royal birth. You deserve to be treated as such just as much as us girls do.
The next one was part of a letter that one of my very closest and dearest friends gave me days before I moved to Utah from Minnesota. But because of how important it is to not only me but also to her I wont share it here. However I want to say this. Look into that mirror until you are okay with you. not physical or mentally, but emotionally. I don't want you to put that mirror down until you can be okay with who you are and what you are doing with your life. I realize this wont happen all at once however you can be okay with your life if you are choosing to make changes. Not that any of you need to make any changes I just want you to be okay with you because being okay with you is one the MOST important things that a person can do in this life! So please to that for me, and more importantly for yourself.
Now as I am planning on moving out of my house I find myself looking into a mirror again. This time I am the one asking the questions though. Today I asked myself what do I see. The funny thing is I'm still learning the answer to that question. but one day I hope that I will be able to be okay with me.Okay you can put down your mirror now. thanks for humoring me. I know this probably sounds really weird to you to do, but for me it means a lot and I wanted to share it with all of you. I love you all and you are all great people and have made my life so amazing! I don't know where I would be without you. I hope and pray that one day you will be able to see what amazing people you all are. I truly love you. Thank you.
