Monday, August 3, 2009
its not like anyone is reading this
So since no one is reading this anyway. I figure i will vent and tare int o anything any everything and everyone that I want. I am so F ing tired of being forgotten and replaced. EVERYONE has been doing it to me. dont comment and say that you dont because everyone has done it to me these past couple of weeks and im tired of it. even my best friend has replaced me with someone else. I cant remember the last time she txt me just to say hi and to see how I am doing. I love how when everyone needs something or someone they come running to me. but when i need someone there isnt anyone there for me. These past couple of weeks it would have been so nice for one of my friends to call to see how im feeling or have someone from church stop by and see me. I'm sick they all know that. If they dont then we must not have talked for over a year anyway so this only further proves my point. Now we are figuring out what is wrong. I guess everyone has decided that the worst must be over and that I am fine. I guess it never accord to anyone that the worst of ir could be staring now. The pain that I am going through right now i cant even explain. yeah i life with it and i am still working and getting ready to go back to school but come on what other choice do i have? I can either move forward or do nothing i decided a long time ago to move forward...I just didnt realize that I would be doing it alone... Please dont comment and be like oh charmaine are you ok? is there anything that i can do for you?" because right now no one really means it. I'm tired of being there for everyone and no one being there for me. I know that Christ is thats not what Im saying so dont pull that on me either. anyone who knows me knows that I'm not going to stop being there for others...I'm just ready for some one to finally be there for me when i really need them. instead of just when they really need me. The pain from being pushed aside, forgotten, and replaced is worse then any medical pain that i can go through. but no one understands that. or cares.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Everyone wants to be different
I have a lot of friends from a lot of different places and I love them all! I've noticed one thing though. EVERYONE says that they are different! The go out and drink or get high or are emo or gangster or you name it. And most of them hate there parents and refuse to listen to them. I have around 900 something friends on face book and most of them are "different" however as I look at those 900 friends I can think of maybe 5-10 people who are truly different.
Why is it such a bad thing to listen to what our parents try and teach us? They have lived a lot longer and they are only trying to help us. I see my friends that are "different" and I honestly dont understand it. I'm not perfect and I know that I have problems doing this but its not easy to do it alone. I know on family that is amazingly close and the children of this family are AMAZING at listen to their parents and learning from their parents. Their son is one of my best closes friends and is also one of the bigest examples in my life.
His name is Paul Peterson. He is one of the people that takes what his parents taught him and used it. He is a major reason why i turned my life around when I did. He is an amazing exaple. right now he is serving a Mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saits in Heroshima Japan.
Resently I have been spending a little bit of time with his sister Lacey. As i come to get to know her better I come to admire her even more. She is so much like Paul. They have taught me the improtance of listening to your family. I hae a good feeling that their entire family is that way. I'm not saying that they are perfect I'm just saying that they are pretty darn close!
I am so far the only child who is living the life that my parents waned for their childern. Its not exactly the same but the basics are right. I'm in college and I am growing Spiritually. Its because of this wonderful family and thier amazing example in my life that I am living the great happy life. I owe them a lot. i love my parents and the example that they have been in my life! I am so glad that I have the chace to become truly DIFFERENT and respect, honer, and listen to them.
There are others like this family. To them I say thank you. You may not realize it but you are different, and If nothiing else I lvoe you for it. Thank you.
Why is it such a bad thing to listen to what our parents try and teach us? They have lived a lot longer and they are only trying to help us. I see my friends that are "different" and I honestly dont understand it. I'm not perfect and I know that I have problems doing this but its not easy to do it alone. I know on family that is amazingly close and the children of this family are AMAZING at listen to their parents and learning from their parents. Their son is one of my best closes friends and is also one of the bigest examples in my life.
His name is Paul Peterson. He is one of the people that takes what his parents taught him and used it. He is a major reason why i turned my life around when I did. He is an amazing exaple. right now he is serving a Mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saits in Heroshima Japan.
Resently I have been spending a little bit of time with his sister Lacey. As i come to get to know her better I come to admire her even more. She is so much like Paul. They have taught me the improtance of listening to your family. I hae a good feeling that their entire family is that way. I'm not saying that they are perfect I'm just saying that they are pretty darn close!
I am so far the only child who is living the life that my parents waned for their childern. Its not exactly the same but the basics are right. I'm in college and I am growing Spiritually. Its because of this wonderful family and thier amazing example in my life that I am living the great happy life. I owe them a lot. i love my parents and the example that they have been in my life! I am so glad that I have the chace to become truly DIFFERENT and respect, honer, and listen to them.
There are others like this family. To them I say thank you. You may not realize it but you are different, and If nothiing else I lvoe you for it. Thank you.
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