The little things in life

So this isn't an update on my health...although i should say that it has been decided that nothing is wrong with my heart (so my title will probably change to something else)...

So i have been thinking a lot lately about my life and how i can see my friends doing everything that they want to do in life because they have that one or two of three things that they are amazing at. Then there's me i have things that i like to do but there isn't on or two or three things that i can just do because i have the talent there. pretty much everything that i do is mediocre an don't get me wrong i don't want to seem as though i am down on myself but i feel like my life cant really go anywhere right not. maybe that's just because I'm not in school yet and they are ( i cant wait for next semester to start so that i can be taking classes again and feel like i am doing something with my life). Anyway a couple of days ago i was really really not feeling great about myself. That same day i was in charge of watching my niece Caydice and my nephew Colby. Their mom (Teri) had just left, Caydice was fast asleep in her car seat, and Colby as usual was crying because he hates being left. He normally comes tired so when he first gets here we just grab a blanket with ties (for some reason he will only go to sleep if one of his blankets has ties for him to hold on too its cute). He likes to be rocked and it will normally calm him down but this time it wasn't working so well. So i asked if he wanted to hear a song he moaned i don't know if that meant yes or no at the time but i started singing anyway. I think i was singing you are my sunshine and he calmed down and almost fell asleep. I was singing to Caydice today when i was watching them again and she feel asleep to it (which was nice because she was really fussy today).

Anyway the point of this is it hit me. I will probably never be a be musian like some of my friends. I will never have a drawing of mine published. I will probably never make it into another play for the rest of my life, or be a great background dancer or even a dance teacher, but I will always be preforming for an audience of one (or in this case two) I can sing them songs to put them to sleep, and teach them how to play the piano or violin, I can draw them funny pictures and tech them to draw, I can use my imagination while i am playing with them instead of just entertaining them. And i can dance with them whenever the dog is singing and dancing to you make me want to shout. I never realized how much more important that was until now. i don't need others to lift me up more then my family already does. Their little smiles are all that i need. Caydice is just learning how to smile and its the cutest thing in the eniter world. its also one of the most beautiful things in the entire world. Its so simple but really what more do you need the a simple smile from a loved one everyday? Exspecially when it comes from someone so Innocent and pure. Then you can know that it is full of love.


just food for thought thanks for being amazing guys

Im radioactive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so here is a quick update. A couple of weeks ago i went to the doctor and had a treadmill test. Its pretty self explanatory, but what what that is is the hooked me up to an EKG machine and then they put me on a treadmill and had me walk then they would increase the speed and the incline
about every 3 min throughout the test. This test however has shown that my heart is working fine at least that is what the EKG says (an EKG for those of you who don't know just monitors your heart beat). So the doctor decided that we were going to cancel the echo (an ultrasound on my heart) that i had an appointment for and the schedule an cardiac MRI.

That Wednesday I went in for the MRI and other then throwing up the meds that they put in my body though an IV to stress my heart the test wasn't to bad.

Then the doctor appointment after that was the following Monday. the doctor came in and said as far as all the test they did not show anything wrong what so ever. everything looked perfect there was only one small problem. because i threw up the stress test meds the stress test didn't work so we weren't able to find out if my arteries are blocked or not so my options where to forget about trying to figure it out and go check with a doctor who is pretty much an electrician with the heart or for get about my heart entirely and move on to a stomach doctor (cause i have had A LOT of symptoms that have to do with my heart and i guess that there is this huge nerve in your body that connects everything and if one thing has a problem it can make it look like it is something else even though its not) But because if all of the heart problems in my family we decided that it was best to know for sure that it wasn't my heart so we decided to get another kind of stress test done om my heart. the best part of this entire visit was A DOCTOR FINALLY LISTENED TO ME!!!!! I told the doctor about the fact that my energy will just leave me at random points pf the day nothing causing it and all this over stuff about nothing causing the chest pain and disyness and things lik that well he figured that i should be tested for mono ( why i wan't tested for it in the first place i have no clue but ya know who really cares at least i was getting it done)

we went done and got blod taken and the scheduled an apiontment for this other stress test (it starts with a th but i dont remember what in the world ot os called) a week later (this last monday) we went and had the stress test done and in order to do it they put tracers in me that were radioactive making my body the same way (and i will be until about the 13 of october lol) anyway they put me bcak on tyhe treadmill for about 3 min. and guess what was back?!?! the nasty heart stress meds from before they made me sick again but i was able to breath though it (i think it healped not being in a tube and being in an open area instead) so we will figure out the results from that on the 7th of this month and i will you know what the out come is with that.

other then taht life is amazing and great!!! I just had a good friend get home from basic training and it is really good to see him around even if he has to leave again soon. thank you all for being so supportive of me and my health i couldnt get though this with you you rock!!!! I love you all!

oh and i dont have mono :) thank goodness!!! that would have beenm random since i havent been kissing anyone! (im still not so dont ask)

thanks again for being amazing!!!

<3 Charly Piage