The little things in life

So this isn't an update on my health...although i should say that it has been decided that nothing is wrong with my heart (so my title will probably change to something else)...

So i have been thinking a lot lately about my life and how i can see my friends doing everything that they want to do in life because they have that one or two of three things that they are amazing at. Then there's me i have things that i like to do but there isn't on or two or three things that i can just do because i have the talent there. pretty much everything that i do is mediocre an don't get me wrong i don't want to seem as though i am down on myself but i feel like my life cant really go anywhere right not. maybe that's just because I'm not in school yet and they are ( i cant wait for next semester to start so that i can be taking classes again and feel like i am doing something with my life). Anyway a couple of days ago i was really really not feeling great about myself. That same day i was in charge of watching my niece Caydice and my nephew Colby. Their mom (Teri) had just left, Caydice was fast asleep in her car seat, and Colby as usual was crying because he hates being left. He normally comes tired so when he first gets here we just grab a blanket with ties (for some reason he will only go to sleep if one of his blankets has ties for him to hold on too its cute). He likes to be rocked and it will normally calm him down but this time it wasn't working so well. So i asked if he wanted to hear a song he moaned i don't know if that meant yes or no at the time but i started singing anyway. I think i was singing you are my sunshine and he calmed down and almost fell asleep. I was singing to Caydice today when i was watching them again and she feel asleep to it (which was nice because she was really fussy today).

Anyway the point of this is it hit me. I will probably never be a be musian like some of my friends. I will never have a drawing of mine published. I will probably never make it into another play for the rest of my life, or be a great background dancer or even a dance teacher, but I will always be preforming for an audience of one (or in this case two) I can sing them songs to put them to sleep, and teach them how to play the piano or violin, I can draw them funny pictures and tech them to draw, I can use my imagination while i am playing with them instead of just entertaining them. And i can dance with them whenever the dog is singing and dancing to you make me want to shout. I never realized how much more important that was until now. i don't need others to lift me up more then my family already does. Their little smiles are all that i need. Caydice is just learning how to smile and its the cutest thing in the eniter world. its also one of the most beautiful things in the entire world. Its so simple but really what more do you need the a simple smile from a loved one everyday? Exspecially when it comes from someone so Innocent and pure. Then you can know that it is full of love.


just food for thought thanks for being amazing guys