its not like anyone is reading this

So since no one is reading this anyway. I figure i will vent and tare int o anything any everything and everyone that I want. I am so F ing tired of being forgotten and replaced. EVERYONE has been doing it to me. dont comment and say that you dont because everyone has done it to me these past couple of weeks and im tired of it. even my best friend has replaced me with someone else. I cant remember the last time she txt me just to say hi and to see how I am doing. I love how when everyone needs something or someone they come running to me. but when i need someone there isnt anyone there for me. These past couple of weeks it would have been so nice for one of my friends to call to see how im feeling or have someone from church stop by and see me. I'm sick they all know that. If they dont then we must not have talked for over a year anyway so this only further proves my point. Now we are figuring out what is wrong. I guess everyone has decided that the worst must be over and that I am fine. I guess it never accord to anyone that the worst of ir could be staring now. The pain that I am going through right now i cant even explain. yeah i life with it and i am still working and getting ready to go back to school but come on what other choice do i have? I can either move forward or do nothing i decided a long time ago to move forward...I just didnt realize that I would be doing it alone... Please dont comment and be like oh charmaine are you ok? is there anything that i can do for you?" because right now no one really means it. I'm tired of being there for everyone and no one being there for me. I know that Christ is thats not what Im saying so dont pull that on me either. anyone who knows me knows that I'm not going to stop being there for others...I'm just ready for some one to finally be there for me when i really need them. instead of just when they really need me. The pain from being pushed aside, forgotten, and replaced is worse then any medical pain that i can go through. but no one understands that. or cares.