HELP!!!!!

So because finances are so tight I need scholarships in order to continue going to school next semester so heres the dell I need your help please both view and vote for this picture so that i can get this scholarship! Please Please PLEASE help me out!!! i am begging you here!!

Me and My BFF Brickfish

The past couple of days I have wanted to post something here and today I honestly cant think of why that is... like at all... but Can just say that I am so thankful for the Lords tender mercies in our lives. Though we may be going through something so hard that we are sitting there crying and asking how we are going to get through this there are tender mercies happening all around us. When we have our "hardest days" and just want to go to bed and a friend invites us to go to a activity with her and her stake. You reluctantly go only to find its the only thing could have pulled you out of your slump. I'm very thankful for the tender mercies that I have felt this week. Especially for the ones that I call friends.

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=0a838fbe352fe010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

I heart Life

what else is there to say! Today was amazing! i got to here from THREE apostles and TWO other general authorities and its not even general conference yet thats not for another couple of weeks! and today haha oh wow. so i like this kid and I tried so hard to sit by him at the CES fireside i mean so hard! and for once i was subtle and no im not just saying that my best friend was shocked that i was so subtle after hearing this story im that bad at being subtle! anyway so i had it all figured out i was going to sit by him and i was so excited that it was really working out...then when they showed up it turned out that i wasn't told to save enough seats so one person had to sit with someone else...this one person..no worries it was the guy that i had been trying so hard to sit by...So i just sat back and laughed it was pretty awesome! i think if this continues i may just come out and tell him to ask me out cause my luck right her sucks but hey at least i have had an awesome laugh because of it right?!?! haha

Nine years Since 9/11

"Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?"

I remember so much I even remember the dream I had the night before. I was living in Boise, ID at the time and there was a huge tree near the house we were living in at the time. In the dream that tree caught on fire. My sisters and I ran across the street. the tree turned into this huge fireball with a face that was screaming "my leg my leg". Being a 12 year old little girl this dream had really shaken me up. Then I remember walking into my prime time class (homeroom) and see on the TV that the first tower had been hit. Honestly i was in 7th grade and was to smart when it came to the news and what was going on i kinda lived in my own world until this day happened. For some reason it took me a while to realize t

hat this was happen to us in America i thought it was in London for about the first ten min until the second plain hit. I remember all the fear in our class as we realized that we are under attack a

nd my teachers wondering if they should cancel class or not. My teacher was a math teacher and was one that everyone loved because she was so laid back. Seeing her leave the room with tears in her eyes...I cant forget that. We watched TV for the first 2 and a half hours of class. The school told us to turn off the TV and to try and have a normal day. How could this day ever be normal? the rest of the day was spent talking about how we felt and en

ded early because we had a teacher who has a friend working in th towers the entire faculty could handle it. The weeks past and the nation felt united we all for once acted up to our name the UNITED states of america. I loved that feel I felt safe no matter what.

As the years went by we once again became the DIVIDED states of america (ps i think that this is what the terrorists wanted...just sayin) As A junior in High school I was given the opportunity to Produce a play entitled "The Guys" ( i jus

t found out that

they made a movie out of it oh and that its a true story i mean that joan and nick their story really happened...) Its about 9-11 and is one of the most touching plays that i have ever been blessed to be a part of. here is a lynk to the trail for the movie. http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3381461273/ this play made 9-11 so real for me> i made the goal to go see the site of the world trade centers.

This past year i made it there

This picture is of the construction site where they are building the new world trad

e center. I almost wanted it still to be the whole in the ground but i am so glad that it wasn't because now we as a nation are healing and the new yorkers are too.

Here is another picture of it. This place was hollowed and I could feel it even though there were so many people just rushing by to me it was so somber. there is a subway station right underneath where this happened I wanted to see it because the subway trains that go by always slow down just a little in reverence for the people who died that day. I never did see it though, I it is something that i would love to go back and see one day.

To end this i love this song it means so much more to me now that i have been there. and Brian if your reading this every time i hear this i think of you. thank you for being my tour guide and taking me to see this site even though it was such a long distance away! I miss you friend!

This ones for the boys!

Ok all you RM's I have something to say to you so listen up. I am so thankful for you all going out and serving a full time mission so let me make that clear before I start.I know that your mission is an amazing thing and i am not trying to put it down in anyway shape or form I would never do that.

The past couple of weeks I have noticed a lot more of you guys thinking and even more stating that you would rather be back on your missions right now. Now I'm not just coming out of left field I've asked plenty of questions about why it is and here is what i have to say about it.

Ok yes i get it your mission was the best two years of your life but some of you guys have been home for two years! What have you done since then? maybe your mission was so great because you were doing what you were sent here to do. Build his kingdom. Im sorry but hello look around you! I know some of you live in Utah and feel like you can get away with the whole " everyone is Mormon" excuse but when you stop to think about it you know thats not an excuse at all! I know that you all know AT LEAST one member that isn't active why is it ok to ignore them now when if you were on your mission you would have befriended them and tried to get them to come back?

I honestly don't get it we are all here on missions "every member missionary" why can't every member be a missionary right now! its very frustrating to me.

Oh and one more thing some of you are so caught up on you mission that you cant let go to move on with your life. some refuse to date because of it. Well guess what boys raising a family and the children in it is one of the greatest missions you will ever know. I've seen it in my brothers as they have raised their families. I know that your mission is an amazing thing and i am not trying to put it down in anyway im just saying that stop letting it stop you. In lots of way your letting Satan stop you by helping you think that your mission is the best that you will ever have when you are missing out on so much more by doing so.

Ok i know that most of you could careless that I even put this out there but i hope that I at least got through to one of you. Your mission isnt over yet! your still living in it please dont give up!

Back to School

Ok so back to school after only a week and a half off going back to school would be so hard...for everyone except those of us that are super excited for their classes. This week has been so crazy!

On Monday we had our first LDSSA council meeting and let me tell you it was so amazing! Ever since retreat I have felt so close to these people! I love them! (P.S. a post on retreat is still on its way im waiting for pictures to go up that I can use:) I can not even tell you the way a feel around these people the best was to describe it is that i know that each and everyone of us are there for a reason and that the lord is having us work together and be friends for a reason. It is truly amazing! I think on thing that plays a major role in it is knowing that there are a few people that are on council that honestly i couldn't say that I would be friends with with out it. I am so glad that we are friends though because some of them are my best friends now.

Anyway back to the meeting as i said it was amazing..we tend to get off track but im hoping that that will soon change. I was just loving the meeting so much that I honestly forgot to watch the time so that i wouldn't be late to work (meeting starts at 7 and i have to be at work by 8) So Sitting there taking notes and then as if on cue Dani turns to me and whispers "char char dont you have work?" right as i get a txt from my boss. yeah i was ten min late to work no big... only very big deal because I waled in and we had a lot to do....which normally not a big deal but in the case it was a HUGE! deal. why you ask? Well i work with ALL men and have ever since i started working there. I havent minded to much until this monday. The men i work with...have stoped caring that they work with a woman and its a hard environment to work to work in because of it. I pretty much went from super amazing spirit to spirit gone its like it left as soon as i walked back into the kitchen. i still love my job only I dont I hate being there like i dread going into work. I never dread going into this job ive loved it since the day I started....My boss stared noticing this...its a good thin that i started looking for another job.

however the job hunt is for more then one reason. The main reason is that I have to get into my major I have fallen in love with my music again which can i just say is so hard to explain to people that say they are my "friends" because they dont believe me but its all because i moved that I lost it and now its back I can't wait to get into my music major! and that means finding a new job because right now i work right over the times that they hold their classes. so lets all pray that I have a new job soon ok?

Tuesday was a normal day Except for the whole job hunt thing which is not so fun but i have to apply for at least 3 jobs a day and yeah.

Wednesday day...oh Wednesday. I loved Wednesday it was such an amazing day! I went to work and THERE WERE PEOPLE!!! I haven't seen people in so long i loved it! I was so happy about it. i worked 7 hours the longest shift that i have worked in about four months which is nice because that means money which makes me so happy! my only problem with it is because I dropped my 3pm class i can now work til im not needed....which i know is my own fault but i wish i had a set time to get off ya know?

After getting off work I went and did institute stuff (shocker) the had my first class which is Group Guitar! It is so much fun! I need an instrument to perform with so its about time that I learn how to really play this one as apposed to pretending like i do haha. I love the class already. A guy walked in with my friends Guitar and because of it we are practicing together it should be fun! Then an institute class YAY!!! I love it! I am excited to be back in the game last year all i took was choir so this will be awesome!

Thursday I love because i only work til 1130 and dont have class til 12 so i get to go chill at the institute and the go to more music! Its fundamentals of music and its the last class i need before going full swing in my major and I cant wait!

Friday i have Zumba and even though we didn't work out this week i came home so drained and ready for bed (it was only 7) I love Zumba but It will kick my butt because its at the end of the week!

My cousin got baptized on Saturday so we stayed the night up at my grandparents. My grandma informed me that i would no longer be getting birthday money (my birthday is on Tuesday so this wasn't out of no where that she brought it up) i am the oldest single grandchild so they had to cap it somewhere and so they choses 20 for the cap and that is totally ok with me. But then told me that they were giving me money for school!!!! this was such a blessing! It wasn't a lot but it was enough to get what i needed to still get i love them! and I am so excited for this amazing semester to get going :)

and on to the next crazy week...

The love of my life

No I'm not dating anyone but i do have a new love of my life it is known as LDSSA. We had a retreat this last week to kind of kick things off and im not going to lie to you i have never been so in love with a call in my life! I dont know what it is about it but sharing the gospel and making all those around me happy is worth it.

these girls are total life saves when I have felt like no one else what there ( which pretty sums up my summer) they were I cant tell you how many times i heard "what Charmaine why didnt you tell me!!!" for any kind of news that I had.

I know that the Lord placed me here right now for a reason and I can't totally tell you why but I know that I have been.

I have not had the easiest summers but because thats kind if a normal thing i decided to just ignore it. let me clarify one thing before i move on this summer wasn't hard for me because of things I was going through but things others were going through. i didn't know how to help and in some way it made me feel a lone. I couldn't talk to them about it for fear of it only making it worse for them but also i wanted them to know that I loved them. it was not easy. Because of this and a few other things I found myself in s rut that i couldn't get out of. Then retreat came along and we were asked to take some time to just be with ourself and the lord. i went off and cried for about and hour and a half and came back so happy. i am so thankful for the lord and this calling. I cam back with a testimony of where i am who i am and that the Lord has lead me to the right calling and that I have been prepared to do a greater work. A work that am so excited for! "Its more then i deserve and It takes my Breath away"

Cheri Call has a song that explains exactly how i feel right now i couldn't find it on you tube for it...so i bought the song and made one really fast. Its called leave it like it is. Enjoy!