new blog

hey guys Ive got a new blog check it out...ill still be using this one just follow both k
http://notjustaheartthrob.blogspot.com/
love ya
charmaie

dating advice

I have been given a ton of dating advice lately and for the most part its become very annoying mostly because I dont really care to date right now. why you ask? well there are a couple of reasons. too many

Recently Ive cried a lot over stupid boys that turned out to be not what they looked to be in the beginning. I realize that this is normally how it is I've just gotten a lot of it within the past couple of months.

However this isn't the main reason why dating is not on my list of top 10 things to do right now heck i wouldn't even put it on top twenty.

honestly its because of all the False advice. I've been told a number of things when it comes to dating. Some of my favorites were "when your starting a relationship too much communication is possible and its a really bad thing" "well you could flirt a lot more" (i'm not a "natural" flirt in fact flirting goes way out of my comfort zone) "Put make up on more often boys will look at you then" (i almost never wear make up anymore) "go work out more often" (haha have you seen my schedule I am luck to get the 3 hours a week that i do get)

Now before you go on thinking that i was asking for this advice let me tell you that I never asked for it!

However I have always been one to humor people even if it is for no good reason other then to just make then happy. Even though it was NEVER making me happy.

So this week here is what happened. At the risk of getting sick again I realized how unhappy I truly was. When i stopped to think about i came up wit this resolution

Look Im me and I'm not changing. if I'm to much for a guy to handle to bad! One day some guy will come along and fall for me because I'm me if he came and fell for someone im not i would feel stuck and I'm so much more fun to be around if im myself.

I now also have some rules. and have had them long before I got any of this advice. for example make up only goes on for me because i want to look pretty not because I want so random guy that I know nothing about to fall for me.

I work out because I want to stay healthy most of my life i have been sick but now i feel amazing who cares if im not as thin as my sisters I'm not doing anything wrong by it.

And most importantly if I'm not happy im not me.

i hope everyone remembers that. Its more important for you to be you then for you to be someone else. wouldn't you love the person you fall in love with to really be that person? then why not give them the same curiosity?!?!

Love you all!

Charly Paige

the power of the spirit

I gave a talk in church today. When brother Jones announced my topic i didn't stick to the topic as well as i had though and my thoughts quickly went to how can i revise this to work for what they wanted? I slowly stood and gave the talk that i had prepared. The entire time i was praying and begging the father to let the spirit guide me through my talk and let it touch someone. Then i had the thought remember how strong the spirit was as you wrote it? It will still be there. none the less i still stood there begging the father to help me. As i sat down I felt that i had failed i had been asked to talk on one topic and i had only touched on it. then with tears stuck in his eyes brother Jones said that was just what was needed. and so did many others. granted there were the few who would rather put me down then say nothing at all but for the first time i felt want it was truly like to be the Lord servant and be used to help those around me in ways that i can't imagine. I am so thank for this experience and for my father who listen to his little girl plead with him even though he had already answered her prayer and comforted her in the way she needed even though he could have just put peace in her he gave her so much more. I Love this church!

Wow can I REALLY concisder myself a chef?!?! that owns her own catering business?

So a couple of weeks ago my best friend threw a private prom for our friend that didn't get asked to her senior prom. so Nettie wsa a sweet heart and planned one for her, and i was blessed to be able to cook a meal for everyone...well word got around and now I'm doing the food for my friends wedding and i have another person talking to me about it. how did this happen? Yeah I started cooking as a chef in august but that was just in august. Ths is kinda cool but scary at the same tme. ill talk pics and let you know how it turns out!

9 months gone bye

Um where has the past nine months gone?!?! SO much has changed. Nettie had her baby Tiff is now married Ty is now on his mission and im still here in orem ut. Do you ever feel like your stuck? Cause thats where I am at. I don't feel like I accomplished anything this year. I mean I did have surgery so I'm not sick anymore and that feels amazing! But really is that all that I can say i accomplished? cause let me tell you its not much....lets just say maybe the next time you hear from me I wont be in orem anymore...lets hope

Becomeing Okay With Being Me

Wow its been a while since I have updated my blog! So much has happened. I've moved out of my parents house and I am now living on my own In Orem, UT. I have 4 roommates, Katrina (my "best friend" and the whole reason why I moved out here. Holly who moved up here to go to UVU for dance with her best friend. Ashley Holly's best friend who moved up here for the same reason. (both of them are from St. George, UT) Both of them however have changed their minds and changed their major. Ashley moved back home and sold her contract to Lynnie, A cute girl fresh out of high school who has a lot of growing up to do but its kinda nice to have someone innocent to live with cause my other roommates are for sure not innocent. And then that leaves Stephanie. She and I but heads a lot and its not so hard for us to get annoyed with each other... which honestly happens all of the time. and I think it may make me want to move back home to my parents house. or just be done with roommates all together.
I am Chief now at UVU, for the cafeteria upstairs called the valley view room. If your ever at UVU and are wanting some lunch go ahead and stop by and get some food the head chief is amazing and I have learned everything that I know from him. And I just Love to cook now. It makes my day In fact I am going home to cook for my....roommates...thats right they are coming to my parents house to do laundry and then we are going to eat homemade chicken noodle soap! Im really excited to makes it. I just love to cook.

And now for the reason why this is called "BECOMING OKAY WITH BEING ME" Although moving out has been "good" for me it has also been extremely hard for me. I have been going through a ton of trials where I have no control over my life. My roommates are good people and so is my best friend Matt (who by the way lives at my place pretty much which honestly i am positive that I am no longer the reason why he comes over anymore but thats ok. Like I said they are all good people however in order for me to fit in with them most of the time I have to not be me. and it is crazy because I am so not happy with that!!!! Like i can be happy for about 24 hours and then the next night im crazy sick and unhappy and i just want to scream. However then last night happened. last night i had a friend come and give me a blessing and i came to the point where I was done and I was tired of not being me. So as of now I am becomibg ok with being me and not giving a crap that i don't fit in in my own apartment. I'll live i have the friends that I need to get through my trials i just need to use them and not the ones that I think i do because i live with them. anyway ill keep you updated. I love you ll and I'll hopefully not take four months to do so.

Love Charly Paige

its not like anyone is reading this

So since no one is reading this anyway. I figure i will vent and tare int o anything any everything and everyone that I want. I am so F ing tired of being forgotten and replaced. EVERYONE has been doing it to me. dont comment and say that you dont because everyone has done it to me these past couple of weeks and im tired of it. even my best friend has replaced me with someone else. I cant remember the last time she txt me just to say hi and to see how I am doing. I love how when everyone needs something or someone they come running to me. but when i need someone there isnt anyone there for me. These past couple of weeks it would have been so nice for one of my friends to call to see how im feeling or have someone from church stop by and see me. I'm sick they all know that. If they dont then we must not have talked for over a year anyway so this only further proves my point. Now we are figuring out what is wrong. I guess everyone has decided that the worst must be over and that I am fine. I guess it never accord to anyone that the worst of ir could be staring now. The pain that I am going through right now i cant even explain. yeah i life with it and i am still working and getting ready to go back to school but come on what other choice do i have? I can either move forward or do nothing i decided a long time ago to move forward...I just didnt realize that I would be doing it alone... Please dont comment and be like oh charmaine are you ok? is there anything that i can do for you?" because right now no one really means it. I'm tired of being there for everyone and no one being there for me. I know that Christ is thats not what Im saying so dont pull that on me either. anyone who knows me knows that I'm not going to stop being there for others...I'm just ready for some one to finally be there for me when i really need them. instead of just when they really need me. The pain from being pushed aside, forgotten, and replaced is worse then any medical pain that i can go through. but no one understands that. or cares.