Harry Potter Dreams

Last night I had a dream that I was i was best friends with the Harry Potter Crew. Best dream ever....also worst wake up ever as well haha! It made me happy though.

You've got a Friend in me.

So I have a a fun couple of days. I had surgery on a tendon in my right foot (yes I too am praying that this is the last one for a while) I realized that when I am recovering for a surgery I'm almost always on Facebook. So I decided to deactivate my account while I am recovering so that I don't get more addicted to it than i already am and so that I could hopefully stop getting on it all the time.

About a day and a half into my recovery I was regretting deactivating my Facebook because I am stuck in bed and I was honestly getting lonely. I felt like no one really knew what was going on but that it wasn't there fault it was mine because I didn't have a Facebook.

Then a good friend of mine visited me today. We were talking about how bad I had gotten just checking on people by reading their statuses on Facebook and somehow had believe that that was enough. Then I sat back and said but now I know who is really trying to be my friend because they have contacted me to see how I'm doing or have stopped by.

It shows so much more that they truly care. That is my goal to be more in touch honestly with people i am going to be there in others lives and not just on their Facebook's looking at their status.

Tribute to an amazing musician and friend: Larry Johnson

Yesterday I found out that a dear friend of mine passed away. Larry Johnson was my music theory Professor at UVU. He was supposed to retire from teaching at the end of the first block of summer session at UVU this summer. While teaching his liver and kidney failed, because of this he lived the last month and a half at the hospital in Provo, UT. He had a liver transplant on June 7th and was recovering slowly, until yesterday morning when he went into cardiac arrest.

OK I'm sure that didn't seem like a tribute and your right because it wasn't. Yes, Larry was my professor at UVU but he was also my friend. A couple nights before Larry passed away I had a feeling that I needed to go see him. I never made it. So to try and still things for me I wanted to share my story of Larry's and my friendship, one that is repeated in so many others lives that he touched.

I first took his class fall 2010, it was fundamentals of Music a class that I did not need to take but for reasons that will come up later I took this class anyway. I found this class easy yet I was still learning a lot from Larry. He always had his jokes and it was a humor that could make any one's day. I failed my first test which scared the crap out of me. I knew the information extremely well and the only reason that we could figure out for why I had failed it was that something was wrong with my learning and that I needed to figure out what it was. Larry helped me to do so.

One day after his class he motioned for me to come up and talk to him. I had been going through a really hard time. Larry pulled me aside and asked if I was okay. I almost burst into tears right there but I held them back as best as I could. He told me that he was available to talk if I needed someone to talk to.

It took a few days but I finally went in to talk to him. I told him all that was going on, there were many things that where eating at me but mostly it was my job. I had been working as a cook and it had been going well up until that semester. My boss at the time had me working from the early morning to the early afternoon. Previously He told me that we would work it out once it came time for me to take my music classes. That semester the music adviser informed me that I either start getting into the program now or I will be dropped from her list of students. It was time for us to work something out at work only things had changed. I was the only girl that was working in my area and one of the newly hired men had been causing major problems for me and my boss had found favor in him. I was told that it was no longer going to be possible to work something out. I was upset to say the least, but I had been hiding it and I though I was hiding it well. Then he paused and thought for a moment then asked me A few questions. First he asked if I needed to take his class, I replied with no and then explained how I needed my music and that this was all that I could get it and was doing for now. The he asked where I went to High school. Which anyone who knows me knows that that is a load question. I had gone to four different high schools, I never stayed at any one of them long enough to notice rank I just stayed long enough to prove myself in music. I then told him that I had failed at doing so at my last high school. My Music teacher there told me that I was going no where with my music and that I had no talent, and because of it i had given up on music up til then. Larry stopped me He said told me that my last teacher was wrong. He then told me that he knew of my first three directors. These director's choirs all ranked in the top 25 in the nation. He told me that if they saw talent in me then others would as well and that this other director didn't know what talent was (haha he said it in his stuck up voice the one that sounded like he knew better then everyone else). He then told me that he couldn't let a student that wanted to teach music so bad that she would take classes that she didn't need, go along with out any help. Later I found out that he had reported the harassment that I had been going through at work. It was because of him that I quit that job and moved on to something that I love.

The next semester I had him again only it was for a class that I really needed to take. I had broken both of my feet so when he would see me he would say "there's my little cripple". He always seemed to be so understanding I had a hard time making it to class on time because of it but he never got upset with me over it. The times when I was on time to class I would normally end up on the elevator with him. He would always use this time to interview me and check up on me. He was a true friend.

In his class I was understanding what he was teaching but I couldn't get it to come out on paper. For our final project we had to write a hymn with out any non-harmonics and without braking a single rule. We were required to consult with him on it at least once. I spent so many days in his office. On my first visit going over this hymn I was feeling very discouraged. I was not doing as well as I had thought. As I got up to leave he said "there's not much left now". I thought he meant there's not much left of the semester so my reply was " I know I'm working really hard and I'll get it done." He said "No Charmaine I mean you don't have much left to change your doing really well! I'm glad to see you growing." That statement changed my life. I want to get a

masters in composition and this gave me the courage to work toward it. I met with him four more times after that first time, I wanted my hymn to be perfect. My last visit with him I had one minor thing to change, I had labeled a chord wrong I just needed to change that. When it came time to turn in our hymn's I really wanted to know what my grade was so I had him mail it to me when he was done grading it. When I got it I opened it to see that not only had I gotten and A but I had also made three mistakes which at the time made me so mad because I

had worked so hard on it.

Now I'm glad to have those markings on my paper. It reminds me how much he really cared not only about every little detail and rule but also about us. I owe him everything I wouldn't be where I am now with out him. U can't really explain how or why he changed my life he just did. I just wish that I could have thanked him just one more time for it. He would always say things like "follow me my penguins" and "it's a beautiful day...somewhere" and he was always telling us to

"PUT THE LID ON THE MARKER!" While we were at the board thinking.

Larry has found his somewhere with his beautiful day and we are still forgetting to put the lids on the marker but when we do and the marker drys out we will always think of him and on day his penguins will follow him back home.

Til we met again Larry. Rest in Peace my friend!

The reason why men aren't getting married!

So I got a phone call from a this guy, who has been in my institute class all summer.

I pick up the phone almost in shock that he even had my number to hear him tell me that there is this girl in our institute class that he wants to ask out and that I knew her. He tells me her name and such. And then tells me that it seemed like we were good friends when we left class today.

Well turns out I just met this girl today and we didn't talk very long. In fact I barley caught her

name I even had to ask him what color shirt she was wearing.

He then goes on to say he doesn't know how he is going to get her number (and im thinking really are you honestly THAT out of it that you don't know that you CAN talk to a person and get their number?)

I tell him that it would probably be best that he try and get it the old fashioned way. He then WHINES! that he isn't going to see her til Monday and that he wants to take her out THIS WEEKEND.

(At this point in my head I'm about dying of laughter and sheer shock that this kid honestly has no idea what he is doing. )

So I then go into "coach mode" and tell him to scope her out at the dance on Friday and to get it then, but IT WAS LIKE I WAS SPEAKING GERMAN TO THIS KID. I honestly had to spell out every little detail about the dance because he was in his words "honestly clueless"...yet he garbed a wristband for it during class.

He ended the call by saying sorry to make this so awkward for you as if I had some big crush on him and was going to start to cry when he hang up or something and then with a fast good bye he hung up the phone... This sadly isn't the only time I've had this happen with some guy that I knew....And the brothern wonder why men are having problems getting married...

What shall we do with all these men?!

Dear Men of the world,

I am a Chef, a Professional sound tech, a lighting designer (for the theater), I play a handful of instruments, And I am currently in school studying and aspiring to be a composer and a conductor for symphonies, Oh and Im a FEMALE! and although most of these positions are male prominent dont think for a second that just because I am female I will go cry when you tell me that I don't what I'm doing. Its never worked before in fact in the end you'll be the one made out to look like and idiot not me. So in short I'm in your world deal with it.

Not love,

Charmaine Paige Griffin

4 days shy of a month Vacation

So anyone that knows me knows that I like to stay really busy. Sometimes to busy for my own good. This last semester being the prime example. Mid march I found out that not only would I be released from council and school would be ending a month later I also found out that I would be losing my job. (Which was not a sad deal at all because to be honest I was glad for the opportunity to move on.) However because I was so busy I had no time to look for a job. Once I was released from council all my spare time went to finals and once I was done with finals I only had a few days left working at the school.

During the time before I lost my job I lost a friendship that I had held very dear to me. It was one of the kinds of friendships that once a change like this occurs, its lost forever (or at least for a long extended period of time) and can never be the same. I was hurt and knew that somehow I had to try and do what seemed at the time to be impossible and pull through it. (man I can be so dramatic!)

Once April 28th hit and I no longer had a job I had A LOT more time to dwell on things like this. And after a conversation with a few dear friends of mine (one of which happens to be the sister of the first friend and it was with her that I had the Most meaning full these conversations) I learned a few things.

1. First Your relationship with Christ is key. I learned that everything else in life not only makes more since as your relationship with Christ grows but also you grow closer to yourself and you are better able to love yourself then ever you could before because it is IMPOSSIBLE to love and come to know Christ with out gaining a love for ones self.
2. Second Be true to yourself. How many times when we are in a situation where we would like to make a more "dramatic" choice do we ignore it and call it stupid because others would like things to go the other direction then your choice would take you. May I propose that instead of ignoring that feeling listen to it. Don't act on it immediately but think on it and pray about it. You fell that way for a reason and until you fix it you can never be at peace.
3. Third Spend time on you. I'm so far from perfect and I found that I was always beating myself up because of it. I know that I can never be perfect in this life but I also know that until I can handle spending time with myself I can never change so I started to spend time on me. This doesn't mean always focusing on the negative, infact I'm not doing that at all I'm just trying to better my positive. Its made my life so much happier because now I fell like I finally have my own total support... from myself.
4. Fourth Have fun and be yourself. Tonight I was able to hang out with some friends from my ward and what did we spend time doing? Taking pictures with all the Pirates of the Caribbean cardboard cut outs at the Macey's grocery store in town, and planning out Harry Potter Marathon for the last movie and our costumes for said event. Its is so important for us to be ok with ourselves especially around our friends its so much more fun that way.

I was offered a job today and I start tomorrow. I am just 4 days shy of being out of a job for a month. But you know what it was probably the best vacation of my life! :D I am so thankful that the Lord had me slow down just long enough to get me to realize all that i had been missing these past couple of years.

The Rose

A few weeks ago I had surgery on my ankle. Thank night my Relief Society president and one of the girls in the ward stopped by. They brought me a yellow rose with red tips (one of my favorite flowers) with a card. I put it aside while we sat and talked about...boys mostly. ha. When I opened the Card it was exactly what I needed to hear and what I had been thinking about most of the day. It had a poem in it about how the Lord is in control cause he knows what he is doing and I dont. I wanted to share the poem on here so that I wouldn't lose it and so that maybe it could help others out there.

The Rose

It is only a tiny rosebud,

A flower of God's design,

But I cannot unfold the petals

with these clumsy hands of mine,

The secret to unfolding flowers

is not know to such as I,

The flower God opens so sweetly,

In my hands would fade and die.

If I cannot unfold and rosebud

This flower of God's design,

Then how can I think to have wisdom

To unfold this life of mine?

So I'll trust in Him for His leading

each moment of everyday

So I'll look to Him for Guidance

Each stop of the Pilgrim way.

For the pathway that lies Before me,

My Heavenly Father knows:

I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,

Just as He unfolds the rose.

Charlie Gilchrist

The Card its self talked about the though spots in life and how we will all get through it. I'm thankful for the reminder that the Lord is unfolding my life and that as he does your life will get even more beautiful.