"All children are born artists. The problem is to remain an artist as we grow up." We don't grow into creativity, we grow out of it. Because we've been educated to be afraid of messing up.
Tonight some girl friends from my singles ward and I went to go see confections of a shopaholic (which was totally worth going to with a bunch of girl friends). While we were standing in line I saw a guy that i had been trying to get a hold of all day but had no way of doing it. (you can imagine how hard that was for me to do). Well it seems like every time i need to get a hold of this guy I end up runing into him. And low and behold i did. But okay here is the thing so this guy is just getting to know me. and well the girl and i decided that we should wear our sweats to the theater today. which believe you me I was all game for. but while i was siting in the theater I realized what shirt i had thrown on. My brothers shirt. i borrowed it one day after work my shirt had a bunch of gross food on it so i asked to borrow one of his. I haven't returned it yet so i grabbed it. This shirt is so not me!!! i would never wear a shirt like this unless it was my brothers and i was borrowing it. why you ask? here is your reason! Thats right it says you can't spell awesome with out me. I would never even say that! So I had to laugh because of the randomness of it all. I'm trying to get the guy to realize how professional I am and I'm wearing this shirt! good job Charmaine...Good job
Lately I have a few friends that have been having problems mostly with self-esteem. They have been make extreme decisions trying to make things better for them. Only making them feel worse about them selves. I sit and watch them do these things to themselves and as they get hurt more and more try to help them in anyway that I can, but I haven't been making much good. i want them to know that they are amazing girls and don't need to go searching for things to make them happy. They have it all already with in them! They are daughters of God. Princesses and deserve to be treated as such! They have so much worth if they could only see what I see in them or even better what their Father in Heaven sees in them. I would give anything to make things better for them.
My friend LyndsiBromley wrote a song called "Stop" It is probably one on my favorite songs that she has ever written. It applies here she says things better then I could. I have added a video of her singing it. Listen to the words. Know that you are loved and that you deserve better then someone that puts you down all the time, better then someone that makes you feel lower then dirt. You are a daughter of God and you deserve to be treated like one! Please don't settle for anything less! You are a Daughter of a King. Don't allow anyone to tell you or treat you otherwise! I love you.
Lyrics: There are so many songs that I never wanted to sing because they're born in a sad dark part of me. I try to Shut it down to quite the sound of my heart begging to say
will you stop you cant keep going on this way please cant you see I'm pleading someone would you find a way from everything so cold and dim I don't know how to fix this right now but please just stop
stop looking in the mirror and hating what you see stop believe that all you get is what you can see stop living like you never be enough to ever be someone
will you stop you cant keeping going on this way stop listening to what those stupid voices say you dont need to tuck and paint and hide away all the things that make you beautiful in every way
don't let fear and failure stand in your way everything will be okay (just let go of you mistakes) because you know you have got to know that there is always a way to
stop living this way your heart is pleading you will find a way you don't need someone to take away this pain because you have the strength to stop
Okay so My two favorite people and i finally made it to salt lake to go to the temple and to see the Joseph smith movie together. I'm jst going to let the pictures tell the stories! okay? here we go I haven't hadso much fun in a long time...I'm going to miss these two when the move up north next week. i have a feeling that i will be spending all my free time up there this summer
Okay so it really isn't my greatest Joy but it is really high up there! Anyone who truly knows me knows that i have always wanted one thing in life that I have never had... until now anyway. What is it you ask?
A childhood best friend or best friends. That i have grown up with and just have that unspeakable connection to. That no one can explain but it is just there!
See my parents moved me around a lot as I was growing up. So I never really had that one or two people that i grew up with that I still have the close connection to.
Well after hanging out with two of my best friends pretty much all day today i was driving home thinking about the things that had happened and silently smiling to myself. Then I realized something. These to amazing people that I have in my life are my "Childhood best friends!" even though I only met them this semester thats what they really feel like to me!
We went on a hour and a half walk today and we decided to all live in the same area on the same street and all stay the best of friends. Just like little kids do when they are "planning" the rest of their life's. We had a good laugh trying to imagine us all married! and living in a neighborhood (near a fire station just for Brandon silly fire fighter lol) We talked about anything and everything on our 3.9 mile walk today (yes Katrina it was that long i used a map and figured it out lol) I did the entire walk in flip-flops (not something that i recommend.) However I couldn't have enjoyed the walk anymore then i did. i am so thankful for these friends. Weather they be true "childhood friends" or not they still mean the world to me and have been a total answer to my many many prays!
So even though they may not be my greatest joy! they are still one of the greatest! thanks guys for giving me my dream even though you had no idea that you were doing it at the time. Love ya
Today has been very interesting. Normally I'm loving Thursdays. And not that today was a totally bad day but it wasn't the best. Normally I start my Thursday with going to the temple and doing baptisms for the bead. (If you don't know what that is just ask an ill explain) I cant ever think of a better way to start out my day. However today I wasn't able to go due to the fact that on Wednesday I was diagnosed with Pink eye and a lung infection. I got more sleep then normal which I'm sure helped me since I'm sick and all but i really missed that break that i get when i go to the temple. Then later today when i would normally go to to the MTC and volunteer for teaching appointments i decided to stay at the institute for a conference with some evangelical Christians that came to talk to us and give us a better chance for us to understand their religion and for them to understand ours. This was an Amazing experience! I learned so much about my own faith while I was learning about others. While i was talking to one of the girls that I was talking to she disagreed with one of the things that i believe to be true. I am so glad that she did too because as she was doing so i had this question cross my brain. "Do I really believe what i just told her that i believed?" the answer is yes but if i hadn't have had this experience i don't know if i would have ever asked that question to myself for a while. This however would be the set up for my day even hours after I had left the conference and my new friends. Recently I have had the feeling that I needed to do a few things to prepare me for the future. one problem came of it today. I have worked my rear end off giving myself two options. and today it hit me. One of the options i will be finding out soon as to what happens with it. the other wont be a while. others have already heard from the first one and i haven't. It hit me that I might not have either of my choices for next year. in which case I have no idea what i will be doing with my life for now which i don't like because i know that I was supposed to do what i have been doing to change my life and plan out the future and I have been feeling really good about it but just today i had the feeling that it could all fall through! This left me in tears. I am glad that I was able to go to the conference because it reminded me that i needed to use my faith! Which i am trying to do right now. proverbs 3:5-6 please pray for me! My friend Lacey made a good point I was telling the lord what to do and not let him direct my life. That is what i am willing to do so i am just going to have to do it.
Recently I had the opportunity to sing with an octet for a fireside that the Orem Institute Choral put on tonight. These seven people have helped me grow more then I could have ever expected.
You know when you do something with the same 5 or 7 people for countless weeks and by the end of it you guys are such good friends that it almost seems like this will never change. Then whatever it was that brought you together ends and those friendships either seem to end or change? Well that is just how i am feeling with these 7 people. I realize that some of them may not be in my life forever but today i realized something. I have always believed that everyone is put in your life for one reason or another most are to help you learn something. i have Already learned the importance of unity because of this experience that we have been able to have together. however I feel like i can learn so much more and I'm not planning on just letting that go. However no matter what happens I will forever remember these guys and what they have already taught me and how i grew and most importantly the way i felt around these guys. I love them all!!! I am happy to say that I can honestly call some of them my best friends :)my best friends :)
So I work at a Chinese restaurant In American Fork called China Isle. I have worked there for about 3 months and absolutely love it!!! Sandy, One of the managers is so funny!!! She is Chinese but she will pull out random languages or accents like yesterday for example she was sporting and Australian Accent!! I almost died laughing!!! I'm not totally sure on weather or not she likes me yet but she is a character and I love her! She is just one of the many Characters that work with!!! I Absolutely Love this place!! I love these people they make me laugh so hard! They like to make fun of me in mandarin all the time. And I never understand what they are saying! So yesterday when two girls came in and asked for an application (because for some reason we still have our now hiring sign out) They were informed that we are really not hiring right now. As the were leaving one of the waiters said something about me in mandarin. (I know because my name doesn't translate so it is still Charmaine...well it sounds more like Chow Mien but hey I take what I can get!) They all started laughing after he said it so i just assumed that they were making fun of me yet again (this happens a lot if you cant tell :D ) Well I asked what was said then one of the managers say "he said that you are pretty" Then another person translated everything that he said he says that he said "We don't need those two girls we already have Charmaine and she is very pretty unlike them!" Now these girls were very pretty so im not sure where he got that from but oh well. Then the owner of the place told me to have Ben (an American that i work with that knows mandarin) to teach me how to speak it. So every Friday (Ben only works Fridays) I learn Mandarin now!!! I'm So excited!!! I love these people!!! They make my day!!! I'm excited to communicate with them better!!!!
